“Just tell me what to do and I’ll do it!” These are the words nearly everyone who’s ever sought counseling, therapy or coaching have uttered.
With kindness and respect, in my opinion, most don’t mean it or if they do, parts of themselves can’t get out of their own way long enough to actually give the advice a solid opportunity to take root and create transformation. Instead, most go through the motions to claim they gave it a try, but that it didn’t work for them. Their problems and obstacles were somehow unique amongst the 8 billion people on the planet.
What happens most often if a person does follow the direct advice/plan? They go outside their comfort zone, find it to be scary, unfamiliar and plagued with uncertainty and then the worst possible thing happens: they don't get near-instant and lasting success, so they give up and begin to search again.
Ok, I’m being dramatic and exaggerating on purpose, but it’s kinda true about what happens when we go outside our comfort zone.
And when I say “they” - I’m lumping myself in that same group. Been there, done that, and at some level of frequency, I still do.
Yet, I keep working at becoming better than I was yesterday and continuously stoke my growth fire within.
I'm also committed to helping others and why I'm excited to turn you on to someone whose life’s work has been about answering his clients request to directly tell them what to do to heal and live a better life.
His name is Phil Stutz and a couple years ago I read his book The Tools. And a few months ago, the documentary “Stutz” came out on Netflix - watch the trailer here. It was created and directed by Jonah Hill, the actor and one of Phil Stutz clients.
I’d encourage you to watch the 90 minute documentary. You’ll be both entertained and your mind will expand. It’s especially critical for those with low self-esteem and low confidence; the highly stressed and anxiety riddled; feel unworthy or inferior no matter how many successes you achieve in life; and anyone who seeks a time in life where they’ve finally arrived and can coast, having made it.
I took some notes while watching the documentary and I’ll list them here, but only to further peak your interest as they don’t do the film justice.
- Working to develop your Life Force will get you 85% of the way to living your best life
- Part X: the villain and voice of impossibility - we all know this voice
- The Tools: the hero in your life story (if you’re willing to practice and use them)
- Learn to become happy in the face of the three core characteristics of Part X
- Tools used in the face of / the moment of uncertainty offer access to living into your highest potential
- Failure, weakness and vulnerability are connectors; revealing them opens us up to greater connection, which means, to grow and thrive we must drop the facade
- Want motivation? Put the next pearl on the string (and by the way, each pearl has some amount of turd)
- True confidence is living in uncertainty and forward motion
- All people have a Shadow- the part of themselves they’re ashamed of and wish didn’t exist. There’s a healing path available if you’re willing to do the work, and it works!!
- The Tool for shade w work brings comfort both in the moment and continuously via a sense and of wholeness
- The Snapshot (wow, this is a big one!) and the three aspect extra of reality
- Relationship counseling is more than for partners/spouses
- The Maze involves others and is a part of X
- Active Love (don’t pre-judge this Tool, just try it wholeheartedly) - this isn’t for the other person; and it can save you!!
- We all have a go-to way of avoiding emotions - we deflect…and it works until it doesn’t
- Getting into unhelpful patterns of behavior or thinking can and will happen and sometimes a lot but training yourself to get out of it quickly is the game changer
- Radical Acceptance Tool
- You get to the world of meaning through small things not the big stuff!
- Grateful Flow Tool (it’s a mechanism that’s different than a gratitude list) and it directly helps break through the clouds of life so that you can see the sun
- Arguing with your thoughts doesn’t work…using the Tools do
- Loss Processing Tool - this can be practiced now, no need to wait until a big loss occurs. Even moving towards this space makes a big difference in one’s life…it’s worth practicing
- Rebirth is possible from death and loss
- It’s humorous and absurd to believe people we look up to and admire are somehow exempt from the pain, struggle and problems we have; they don’t have it all figured out but they may accept what is and themselves in more loving and consistent ways
- Giving what we learn and how we got through our difficulties is a gift we can pay forward to others…such a loving gift
I hope you’ll watch it and it opens the door to new opportunities and a renewed willingness to live into your highest potential.
I’d also love to hear your takeaways and the biggest insights you got from it. Leave a comment here on the blog!
Thank you for being willing to invest the time and energy into yourself.
You’re worth it. You matter. You can improve your health and life. Most of all, you have the power to be ever more YOU - the real, whole, divinely created you!!